Networking

Listen

Listening is louder than it sounds.

The more obsessed, the more vociferous we get. Idea machines must be willing to share compelling stories, but listening is part of any transmission. This is obvious, but with precious airtime up for grabs and knowing so much about our own interests, listening can devolve into feeling like a required distraction.

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Hearing is passive.
Listening is active.

As we guide people through the layers of understanding, active listening forms a bond much faster than forcing ourselves to be heard. The fear of not having time to deliver our message will linger, but when we truly tune into what another person is saying, it shows we care. Active listening also helps us better harmonize our thoughts within the moment and counters the common mistake of overloading others with too much numbing details all at once. Knowing each conversation is part of a broader relationship journey, good listeners are almost always given a chance to make a bigger impact.

Ready for an experiment? The next time you meet someone new, embrace your inner scientist. Set your introverted/extroverted mindset aside and focus your attention on asking as many thoughtful questions as you can. The less you talk, the better. This will feel awkward if you just fire question after question, so be concise with each response, then return to thoughtful questions for a more natural interaction. Consider expanding this social experiment by purposely doing this throughout an entire networking event. Remember who you talked with and track how the listening-focused conversations evolve. Over time, how do these relationships compare with others where you’ve been less intent on listening?

Here are tactics to support your listening practice:

  • Center your internal attention.
  • Stay engaged with eye contact.
  • Use jarring questions to dodge small talk.
  • Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions.
  • Occasionally paraphrase what was said.
  • Avoid the urge to make it about you.
  • Ask curious questions to go deeper.
  • Use non-verbal cues to express attention.
  • Record and share a few key takeaways.
  • Exit gracefully, without a sense of rush.
  • Follow up with one more question.
  • Ask about progress next time you meet.

This type of active listening will not only extend your ability to hear. It will also make your responses more in-tune with what others are thinking versus always trying to prove your point. Selflessness may keep a conversation from landing exactly where we want in that moment, but as we move from one topic to the next, we learn how others work.

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Listening within a support network ignites optimism, connection, and motivation. A healthy balance involves listening to challenge networks, which keeps us intellectually humble and rooted in reality.

When done well, an unspoken bond is formed. This synchronization curates future conversations that are enforced by shared enthusiasm.

Brewed From Within
#34 📖 Leadership

By Ben McDougal, ago

Overtime

Meaningful moments can form faster without an agenda.

When so much of business communication is graded by productivity, meetings, pre-planned talking points, goals, and recorded remains, there is mysterious value in extended conversations that have purpose, but no end goal.

Extended discussions create space to pass interesting anecdotes, unstructured opportunities, and unforeseen knowledge grenades. While it’s uncommon, consider how bonus time connects friends who simply haven’t met yet.

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Most are oversubscribed. This creates an illusion of being busy, but a peculiar conversation is rarely a waste of time.

Long-term leaders expand minds while tightening impact networks along the way. Respect the extra time required, but let’s invite these verbal volleys and when asked to go into overtime, stay thirsty and see what happens.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Inverse Charisma

Jack Chimbetete learned to make others feel charismatic as a young leader in Zimbabwe. After this film maker experienced the Mandela Washington Fellowship, he forged a new path by moving to Iowa. We chat about growing up in Africa, producing content for TV, the African Live Network, tips for migration, and how to sequence storytelling to enhance any adventure.

After a euphoric break, Jack and Ben talk about what’s easy to do, but hard to maintain. They discuss being optimistic, while staying realistic and finish with ideas to help anyone build a network when you’re new to town.

LISTEN on APPLE PODCASTS
LISTEN on SPOTIFY

BONUS MATERIALS

https://jacksshackint.com

https://africalivenetwork.tv

https://onevoicedsm.org

https://cultureall.org

Roasted Reflections Break: Career Nirvana

http://Inverse-Charisma.YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com

EP37 – Power of Purpose 🎙️ Dwana Bradley

EP63 – Trapping Time 🎙️ Chris Lo

EP67 – Kups From Kenya 🎙️ Laban Njuguna

https://MandelaWashingtonFellowship.org

http://YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com

https://BenMcDougal.com/show-up

https://BenMcDougal.com/echos

Tiësto 🪩 New York City

https://BrianTracy.com

YDNTP on YouTube

http://BENBOT.ai

By Ben McDougal, ago

Storytelling

Humans are innate storytellers. We use (sequenced) stories to enjoy life, relay ideas, and network experiences. Passed over generations, the willingness to tell stories has helped our species survive. When collided, shared understandings then summon diverse environments connected to thrive.

As we narrow the narrative into an entrepreneurial lifestyle, the values of storytelling are felt as we learn, create interest, unite, and act beyond the shared moment. Over a brew, in the office, at events, out with friends, or on-stage, leaders must be able to translate the story of a business.

The environment, industry, audience, and format affect how a story is told. The sentiment should be consistent, but your story won’t sound the same each time. Agility, preparation, and awareness will keep a story genuine, truthful, and engaging. Preparedness also boosts our confidence to share our stories in any situation.

Internal storytelling between owners, co-workers, mentors, advisors, and customers is guided by listening, curiosity, data, transparency, and all that’s found in the Team chapter of You Don’t Need This Book.

Let’s expand the repertoire with a focus on storytelling with strangers. This is done by playing with styles and tinkering with creative formats for the story.What’s your style? How casual can you make it? How nerdy can you go? What feelings do you evoke?

Alongside different styles, timing also helps to format the story. One sentence is a sharp conversation starter. 42 Seconds is ideal for networking events and in small groups. 6 Minutes delivers details to support a valuable Q&A. 10+ minutes creates space for more depth, but don’t numb the audience. 45+ minutes is leading event sessions and keynote speaking.

Along with talk, relatable assets bring a story to life. Such creation uncovers flow for a story. So embrace branding, social media, website development, slide decks, one-pagers, and endless types of physical and digital materials that connect storytelling with an audience that cares.

No matter the situation, honest understanding, energizing enthusiasm, practice, transparent vulnerability, intellectual humility, and concise simplicity will serve you well. Nothing pushy, but pops of persuasion curate attention along the way. As a remarkable story comes together, feedback will sharpen the business and help tweak the transmission.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Aphorism

Personal truths on health, life, wealth, and happiness evolve from entrepreneurial endeavors.

The pursuit of building a business causes people to be more contemplative about other aspects of life. Learning to articulate thoughts as a leader is transformative. Knowing ones self can be parlayed with mindful aging to create curiosity that can be mixed into heartfelt conversations.

How we explore big ideas depends on the environment, people you interact with, and knowledge you pursue. This makes me thankful for my own entrepreneurial experiences, but more important, the immeasurable blessing it can be to expand our minds by plugging into startup communities and entrepreneurial ecosystems.

A willingness to show up and the trust built through such generosity has allows leaders to become apart of so many other startup stories. As mentioned throughout YDNTB, consistent action over the long run is required, but insight learned along the way provides a path to understanding for anyone, on almost any front.

As we support entrepreneurs through the art of connection, the invitation to have more diverse discussions is unlocked more often. Whether it’s strategic, tactical or philosophical, what a gift toward open-mindedness this becomes.

Along with stimulating conversations with agreeable peers in a support network, Adam Grant reminds us that it’s important to weave in the perspectives from a challenge network as well. Challenge networks consist of disagreeable people we trust to point out blind spots. This helps to overcome weaknesses with critical feedback we may not want, but need. Peculiar interactions within a challenge network also unlock humbling opportunities to be wrong. Intellectual humility helps avoid misguided confidence and brings us closer to different forms of truth.

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Smart people change their mind all the time. Find joy in discovering you were wrong and now less wrong than before. This is not incompetency. It’s being honest, respectful, and willing to learn.

By Ben McDougal, ago