Happiness

Traveled

Trevor Carlson visited 50+ countries in 5 years!

He’s also a friend, founder, content creator, and below-average salsa dancer. Pack your bag and ride along as we wind through an extended episode with wild stories from around the globe, a narrated break, writing fiction, thoughts on the future of You Don’t Need This Podcast, experiential wisdom brewed to keep us building together, and bonus footage where Ben shares what he wants from life.

LISTEN on APPLE PODCASTS
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BONUS MATERIALS

https://lostandlore.com

https://FreshFuelMarketing.com

The Climb by Trevor Carlson (early access)

Roasted Reflections Break: Serendipitist

http://Traveled.YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com

EP44 – Do What You Love 🎙️ Scotty Russell

EP56 – Caffeinated Manifesto 2 🎙️ Ben McDougal

EP84 – Base Camp 🎙️ John Kallen

EP94 – Paving Paths 🎙️ Eric Engelmann

Man’s Search For Meaning -Viktor E. Frankl

http://YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com

YDNTP on YouTube

http://BENBOT.ai

By Ben McDougal, ago

Oversubscribed

It’s a go-go world of busy, busy, busy.

With days scheduled from start to finish, what time is left for random acts of conspicuous kindness, welcoming serendipity, or just saying yes to more adventure?

Thoughtful preparation is often required to coordinate whatever it may be. There’s value in staying organized, but over planning is a trap. The thirst for productivity has made busy look to be successful. How often do we hear pride disguised as disgust, as someone complains about the constrictions of their frantic calendar? Yes, prerequisites include boundless hard work, a healthy obsession, and endless sequencing to be remarkable, but unexpected opportunities emerge when we’re not captive to a calendar.

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Planning is based in fear.

Doing is based in success.

Renting time can be lucrative, but in our connected era, there are ways to efficiently get things done without falling victim to a stacked routine of back-to-back everything.

Meetings led by talking heads, fracturing lunch affairs, and youth sports are all common versions of this trap. Each activity is cool, but when combined, days are booked and every night has something. A few hacks for each include less scheduled meetings throughout the week, but an eagerness to meet anytime. Instead of lunch, meet folks for a brew on either side of the day and consider more adventurous ways to share time. Audibles include parlaying a first meeting with an event, going for a walk and talk, or adding nature into the interaction. This breaks routine and conversations can be more provocative as a shared encounter adds depth to any relationship. Lastly, appreciate limitless play, but organized sports will not define a child’s future. In fact, it more commonly limits the experiences a family enjoys together. The entire game resets at puberty and even at high levels, the idea that sports provide a lasting future is one of society’s biggest fallacies. Organized sports deliver camaraderie, fitness, teamwork, loyalty, problem solving, business opportunities, and a competitive rush, but camps provide these benefits with less time and cost required.

Comfort without a plan leaves space for the unexpected. Things will not always come together, but if the calendar is a tool to keep promises while staying quietly organized, complacency gets replaced with unplanned marvel. If you feel oversubscribed, try flying without a plan. May the voids filled with no agenda unravel a freedom to be your best.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Conspicuous Kindness

These two hours between Elon Musk and Lex Fridman was fascinating. During their opening examination of war, Elon was sharing peculiar ways to deescalate tension with “conspicuous kindness”. This term caught my ear and has me wondering if the winds of outrage are human nature, perhaps conspicuous kindness can help us heal the future?

Conspicuous kindness feels empathetic, but not without boundaries. Like a vibe that welcomes other vibes. It keeps hope evolving, but everyone experiences the world differently. Consistency may be what people want in business, but the discipline to stay centered is challenged by constant change and history makes it hard to imagine world peace. Acts of conspicuous kindness are seen everyday, but what happens when conflict tests humanity?

We may long for a cosmic utopia where peace and progress co-exist, but reality can always be altered as long as humans play by different rules. Not rules based on objective truth, but the dynamic personal and political truths of mankind. Such variety of imbalance combined with endless complexity makes global alignment ostensibly impossible. While interplanetary travel may someday reduce geopolitical stress, when survival feels at stake, desperation sets in. Anonymity without kindness devolves into animosity and isolation fuels fear that can apparently justify begrudging rage.

Fortunately, life on earth has long been resilient.
Unfortunately, any single planet has limitations.

With over 8 billion humans all consuming finite resources and our species altering the earth like never before, conflict may be inevitable. If we know it’s coming, can the kindness we teach children be extended into our shared experience? What equilibrium must be achieved to make everyone feel thankful, happy, motivated, and significant?

Kindness cannot be the only answer, but it feels like part of an equation where we collectively assume positive intent, welcome the opportunity to be wrong, appreciate healthy debates without regret, and let others lead.

If versions of vulnerability are necessary, how can we lean into conspicuous kindness without being taking advantage of? If you saw how Lex and Elon interacted with xAI in the interview that prompted this writing, you may be reminded of how BEN BOT contributes in You Don’t Need This Podcast! This is pure human, but let’s brew in an interesting response from our conversational companion.

“I believe that leaning into conspicuous kindness without being taken advantage of starts with setting boundaries and expectations. It is important to be clear about what you are willing and not willing to do, and to communicate this to those around you. Additionally, it is important to be mindful of the intentions of those you are interacting with and to trust your instincts. If something feels off, it’s okay to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. Finally, it is important to remember that kindness does not have to mean weakness; it is possible to be kind and firm at the same time.” –BEN BOT

As we rebound to human wisdom on such a heavy topic, my dad reminded me of how people’s life experiences impact innate responses. Has trust been broken before? Are there generational activities that seem destine to create tension? When distrust has been woven into the history of any interaction, good will can feel unfathomable.

Perhaps when kindness feels this
removed, is when it’s needed most.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Winds of Outrage

Outrage is a waste of time.

Anger is instinctive and there’s purpose in standing up for what you believe, but little is accomplished when we combine the two. Lashing out rarely makes us feel better, so why is such fury so common?

The winds of outrage get stronger as isolation increases. We live in a connected, but lonely time. Anything is a click away, but a thoughtful conversation (especially amongst strangers) is increasingly rare. As we age, more time is spent alone, which further reduces diversity of thought. This social isolation causes a neural chemical (Tac2/NkB) to be overproduced in the brain, which increases fear and aggression. The mental instability swings us away from center. Instead of curiosity, empathy, and patience, a hardened state feels like the only way to be heard.

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Humans unite against things we don’t like much faster and louder, than rallying around those we do.

Without an intrinsic appreciation for the complexity of constant change, simplification is natural. This polarizes any position. When the answer must be yes or no, there’s no room for maybe. If one’s identity is defined by such polarization, it’s innate to assume that a threat must be met with force. When politicians get loud, does it strengthen their position? No. It looks desperate and detracts from a respectful debate. Increasing the volume may attract attention, but more of the same only deepens close mindedness. When tribal truths becomes personalized, the fuse that ignites outrage is shortened.

How then, can we calm, perhaps even
harness the winds of outrage?

Imagine the serenity of a sailboat. Next time it’s windy, let your mainsail catch the wind to move forward. Stay connected to the centering mast by leaning into your understanding, but invite pure wonder by allowing the jib to wave in appreciation for the intensity that comes with outrage. It can feel like strengthening the storm, but a thoughtful question can reduce tension. Our goodwill of active listening creates space for outrageous energy to dissolve. Even when there is little to agree on, as people feel heard they are more willing to listen and when storms blow over, common ground can be found.

By Ben McDougal, ago