Curiosity

Listen

Listening is louder than it sounds.

Most entrepreneurs like to talk and the more obsessed we are, the more vociferous we seem to get. Idea machines must be willing to share compelling stories, but listening is a key part of any transmission. This may seem obvious, but with precious air time up for grabs and knowing so much about our own interests, listening can devolve into feeling like a required distraction.

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Hearing is passive. Listening is active.

As we guide people through the layers of understanding, active listening forms a bond much faster than forcing yourself to be heard. The fear of not having time to deliver your message will linger, but when we truly tune into what another person is saying, it shows we care. It also helps us better harmonize our thoughts within the moment and counters the common mistake of overloading others with too much numbing details all at once. Knowing each conversation is part of a broader relationship and community-building journey, good listeners are almost always given a chance to make a bigger impact.

Ready for an experiment? The next time you meet someone new, embrace your inner scientist. Set your introverted/extroverted mindset aside and focus your attention on asking as many thoughtful questions as you can. The less you talk, the better. This will feel awkward if you just fire question after question, so be concise with each response, then return to more thoughtful questions for a more natural interaction. Consider expanding this social experiment by purposely doing this throughout an entire networking event. Remember who you talked with and track how the listening-focused conversations evolve. Over time, how do these relationships built on listening, compare to others where you’ve been more outspoken? Here are a few tactics to support your practice.

  • Center your internal attention.
  • Stay engaged with eye contact.
  • Use jarring questions to dodge small talk.
  • Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions.
  • Occasionally paraphrase what was said.
  • Avoid the urge to make it about you.
  • Ask curious questions to go deeper.
  • Exit gracefully, without a sense of rush.

This type of active listening will extend your ability to hear more, but also make your responses more in-tune with what others are thinking, versus always trying to prove your point. Selflessness may keep a conversation from landing exactly where you want in that moment, but as you move from one topic to the next, you’ll learn how others work. When done well, an unspoken bond forms. This synchronization creates space to explore more directions you’d like to take future conversations, but now with the priceless ingredient of shared enthusiasm.

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Listening within a support network ignites optimism, connection, and motivation. A healthy balance is to also listen to your challenge network, which keeps us intellectually humble and rooted in reality.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Perpetual

It’s hard to stop anything that repeats so frequently it seems endless. There’s infinite ways perpetuity could be good or bad, but never ending happiness, trust, love, hard work, fun, generosity, action, wonder, and learning seem like safe bets.

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It’s not whether you know how, it’s whether you will.

Being inspired by so many remarkable people (like you), has instilled a lasting appreciation for consistency within the entrepreneurial lifestyle. Perpetual feels like a cousin to persistence, so without airdropping the final chapter, here’s a short excerpt from the closing moments of You Don’t Need This Book: Entrepreneurship in the Connected Era.

As entrepreneurs traverse through the unknown, setbacks are inevitable. Each conquered setback makes an entrepreneur more resilient. As resiliency bonds with experiential knowledge, focused determination makes setbacks less distracting. Eventually, setbacks become more like interesting challenges for problem-solving entrepreneurs. This hardened mindset welcomes endless suffering. Such willingness to suffer unlocks a key to entrepreneurship. Passion.

Passion fuels persistence, and persistence is a wild card. Passionate persistence combined with obsession, allows anyone to achieve entrepreneurial success.

You’ll build when others don’t. You’ll savor projects longer and you’ll fight through dips that made others quit. You’ll be comfortable with uncomfortable and you’ll enjoy making a ruckus every step of the way.

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Belief in one’s self is contagious.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Serendipitist

Do things always seem to work out for you?

Our internal narratives and external experiences make the cultural consequences of serendipity hard to refute. Serendipity may be pseudoscientific, but it makes sense that things we dedicate our focus and attention to, naturally attracts more of the same.

This mental model can be established in many ways. For me, the appetite for welcoming serendipitous collisions has been brewed from the eternal optimism that an entrepreneurial lifestyle constructs. No matter the source, I believe many of us are, or have the potential to be serendipitists.

Serendipitists seek adventures that invite, sometimes even require different layers of serendipity. The extend at which you control what you’re able to control (a dichotomy within stoicism), while also letting the winds of happenstance guide you through a sense of abundance, determines how often/deeply we experience this charming phenomenon.

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What’s normal for a spider, is chaos for the fly.

In the moment, not everything will work out. This is why serendipitists are often confused with just being lucky. Serendipity and luck both require preparation, openness, and opportunity. The difference between serendipity and luck, is perseverance. Over time, serendipitists share similar energies within their practice.

Serendipitists say “yes” more often.
Serendipitists consistently show up.
Serendipitists assume positive intent.
Serendipitists seek to understand.
Serendipitists are empathetic.
Serendipitists are generous.
Serendipitists stay curious.
Serendipitists fuel positive change.
Serendipitists play long-term games.
Serendipitists have fun and die empty.

As we experience serendipity, celebrate it. Recognize the random awesomeness that comes from the positivity you squeeze into the universe. Continue connecting dots, appreciate how things come together, and keep making a ruckus to feel it even more.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Open to Next

Setting goals and honest resolutions provide a useful purview into what’s next. It’s no secret that appreciating the past and planning for the future can provide a fresh boost during transition times. As this introspective activity warms your thoughts and emotions, joy awaits those who translate such enthusiasm into heartfelt energy that fuels sustained action.

As we look forward, dare to be different by also staying open to things not in the plan. This fluidity helps us avoid the limiting effect of being too rigid.

There are times to remain stringent in order to stay on course, but embracing the plot twists of life ensures that perseverance does not become misguided. Most people like the idea of being a free spirit, but openness can be fleeting, because we find solace by way of control. Think about the last big trip you planned. You locked in travel, accommodations, and maybe even a collection of planned activities. You basically craft a scripted adventure to experience for yourself. If all goes to plan, you’ll surely enjoy the trip, but how often does everything go exactly to plan? Almost never, yet the unexpected detours often lead to the best stories.

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Higher the contrast, better the story.

Openness laced through different types of short and long-term goals, activated by habits that churn goals into surpassing accomplishment, provides clarifying direction with space left over to welcome serendipity. Letting go to stay open can become a source of anxiety, but the unknown can be an exciting place where possibility allows us to discover what’s next.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Santa is Real

Humans tell stories.

Storytelling is the way we communicate and a key to humanity’s evolution. The stories we share come in all genres, but each one builds a different type of connection.

Stories often exist in the moment, but some are passed for generations. The most successful stories humans have ever told may be science, religion, mathematics, or money, but holidays may also land somewhere on this list of extraordinary, generational storytelling.

In the United States, 11 federal holidays are all observed in their own way, but Christmas (and comparable year-end celebrations around the world) creates a special atmosphere. In fact, the entire calendar and our fundamental sense of time seems to revolve around this cozy time of year. It’s when we pause to remember the year that was, and then look forward to what’s next. With such a shared inflection point, the year-end holiday season has created many recognizable symbols. Many holiday traditions revolve around religion, and just as many do not, but the legend of Santa seems synonymous with the holiday spirit. Whether you believe in Santa or not, it’s hard to argue with how well this jolly character embodies the essence of joy and generosity.

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Balancing this reflection made me feel like a scientist without a clear thesis, but watching our little one lean into the holiday spirit makes me grateful and full of pure wonder.

Our generational stories, decorations, music, events, letters, gifts, movies, and all that is the holiday season, can spark an undeniable truth. Great stories bring us together and if the result is anything close to the beautiful innocence of a child’s sparkle this time of year, I’m a believer and thankful that Santa is real.

By Ben McDougal, ago