Roasted Reflections

One & Only

The weight of one is heavy. Something so rare makes us feel like we only have one chance to get it right. If it’s inanimate, we never want it diminished. If it’s alive, we seek the futile tranquility of immortality.

These desires pressed against the tension of time can make the uniqueness of one feel overwhelming. This can devolve into a fear of change and selfish preservation, but perhaps there is freedom within the timeline of now.

Being present is hard when we’re always reflecting on the past and thinking about the future, but what choice do we have? Altering the past is not an option. All we have is now, and yet, the present never stops passing.

Within this endless transition, gratitude provides peace. It invites us to cherish our one and onlys in life. Such appreciation acknowledges the past, allows the present to be a gift, and instills hope for what’s next. For all that is one and only, I say thank you.

By Ben McDougal, ago

#GiveFirst

The energy of accelerating others is unmatched.

When talking with others, forget potential transactions. Instead start by focusing on how you can help. People gravitate toward those who choose genuine selflessness over their own interests.

Showing you care can be as easy as a quick thought to help someone else take their next step. Perhaps there’s a helpful introduction you can make? It can even be as simple as showing you care enough to listen.

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Early in my career I was told that everything felt like a one-way street with me. From then on, I made an effort to listen first and talk less. This is difficult when all you want to do is invite people to your next event or sell whatever it may be. Be willing to show up, stand out, and follow up to seal the deal, but pave two-way streets that allow your relationships to flourish by pulling as much as you push.

However you choose to contribute, the trick is not expecting anything in return. This benevolent attitude has been encapsulated in the hashtag #GiveFirst. Here is a Techstars podcast that explores this mindset. Brad Feld also wrote this book to highlight the #GiveFirst philosophy.

Maintaining a #GiveFirst mentality will spawn meaningful discussions faster and more often. This happens because without ulterior motives, you’re able to explore anything without remorse. Over time, this allows more meaningful connections to evolve, versus contacts without context. When you play the long game of investing in the success of others, the real fun begins.

Concerned you’ll never achieve your goals if you’re always trying to help others? Don’t be. If you relentlessly #GiveFirst, you will earn the attention of people eager to return the favor. You’ll also get asked about your own work more often. That’s when you spark intrigue by saying it’s a secret, before shifting the discussion back to them. They’ll laugh, love it, and come back for more.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Mentor Madness

Mentors help entrepreneurs without asking for anything in return.

These diamonds in the rough may be hard to find and the vulnerability to ask others for help can feel heavy, but don’t be afraid. Most entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs enjoy helping others. Not everyone is graced with extra time, but there are good mentors in every community. Local mentors provide huge in-person value and the online universe offers infinitely more ways to find good fits. The wider your engaged network is, the more strategic you can be when selecting mentors as well. Even with a wide spectrum of options, take time to consider whom you trust and who will trust you in return. Be respectful of everyone’s time, but don’t be afraid to approach the giants you admire most.

As an entrepreneur talking with potential mentors, be transparent about your situation, concise with storytelling, and clear with specific needs. Spell out your vision, the current state of your business, what makes you a pain reliever vs. a vitamin, and how this mentor’s experience could help you navigate the fog.

As you explore mentor relationships, it’s unlikely one person can support you on all fronts. This means you must get comfortable working with multiple mentors.

The more one mentor can help, the more attention they deserve. When you give a mentor more attention, it should not feel like they need to do the same. Approach each exchange with composure. Make it convenient for people who aren’t required to care. Go out of your way to be effective and efficient. Learn how someone likes to communicate and make detailed emails concise. Answer questions directly and find ways to keep connecting new dots. Think about deliberate deliverables. As things come together, slow play the delivery of assets and things you want to discuss. This will keep progress from feeling too heavy. It also creates space for concentrated feedback on more specific topics. A mentor who helps you in a meaningful way will rarely disappear, so there’s no need to overload them with too much at once. This practice helps you stay on top of ongoing conversations, while also allowing mentors to add more precise value. Optimizing mentor relationships this way will inspires trust, action fueled by accountability, and solidify a lasting sense of accomplishment for everyone interested in your success.

Along with learning from mentors, consider being a mentor yourself! Success (and failure) leaves clues so no matter what you’ve achieved in life, you have wisdom to share.

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Interested in mentorship? Here are characteristics to consider.

If you decide to offer your time in this way, be generous, but also realistic about how you can help. Mentoring can become a nagging task if you’re stretched too thin and the moment you feel resentment, the quality of your support diminishes. To avoid this pitfall, be upfront with the time you’re willing to commit and deliver whatever is promised. When volunteering a significant amount of time, be sure to feel at peace about the impact you’re making.

Your time spent mentoring should feel easy, efficient, and fun, yet challenging and rewarding as well. A #GiveFirst mindset paired with an authentic connection to founders you care about creates space for honest feedback and a magical experience for those who learn, earn, and then give back.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Bookmarks

Anticipation, fear, and excitement. These are healthy sensations that emerge as we create bookmarks in life by experiencing new things.

It’s easy to forgot for those who often look forward, but we are blessed by many renewing moments throughout life. The start of a new day, first dates, holidays, weddings, vacations, the arrival of a child, birthdays, the first day of school, a new job, the launch of your own company, and perhaps when you fully accept that we may only have one life to live.

This reflection on fresh beginnings and how we’re invited to create bookmarks in life spawned as I embark on my expanded role with Techstars. As a tech founder and entrepreneurial ecosystem builder, Techstars is an iconic organization I’ve always admired. They support entrepreneurs with education, resources, and mentoring that is exponentially compounded by a global network. What started as exploratory ecosystem building, quickly transcended into a more involved role with the Techstars Iowa Accelerator.

I’m grateful for this opportunity to be the entrepreneur in residence focused on ecosystem development. As you hear me often say, the energy of accelerating others is unmatched. Supporting more inspired founders while connecting a community of remarkable mentors is such a gift and yet another bookmark I’ll always appreciate.

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Visualizing your career portfolio as a dynamic pie chart is something I write about in YDNTB. Along with this healthy exercise to reflect on your own personal bandwidth, having this graphic on your phone adds a quick reference for introductory conversations as well. Here’s a peek at my current career portfolio.

As you marinate on your own state of now, be thankful for the bookmarks in life that you’ve established by exploring something new. Think about what you started and how’s it’s evolved. Remember everything can change so if it’s time to create a new bookmark in life, avoid the natural temptation to wait.

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Someday is dangerous. Today is all you have. Start.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Show Up

Surrounding yourself with fellow students, entrepreneurs, and intrapreneurs will keep you motivated. The goal is to find a balanced collection of community events. Commit to those who complement your life while seeking out new groups that make you nervous. This combination will connect you with people who can support, but also expand, your world.

Once you lock in on a few groups that can push you to be your best, show up. It sounds easy, but consistently showing up takes dedication. When we commit to showing up, we are being generous with our time, and generosity leads to trust. As trust surges, more meaningful interactions occur. This will increase the value you give and get from the community, which makes it easier to show up.

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Whether it’s a tribe you trust or a brand new experience, don’t waste your time by attending an event just to say you were there.

When you arrive, say hello to everyone you know. After catching up, shift the focus to meeting new people. For a jump-start, ask a friend to introduce you to someone you don’t know. If that’s not an option, go mix it up alone.

Be bold enough to enter existing conversations without an invitation. One way to do this in style is find a small group of people talking. Wait until you’re noticed, then casually say, “Hey, folks, whatcha chattin’ about?” Be respectful and prepare to expand on whatever they’re talking about. The group will soon want to know why you decided to join their conversation. It’s tempting to use this moment to talk about yourself.

Instead, surprise them by not trying to take over the conversation. Ask a question or share an intriguing thought that relates to the current discussion. The objective is to deflect the focus back toward the group. This deflection will weave you into the fabric of the discussion. You’ve now become a part of the group’s conversation. This will provide a chance to share your story with a more natural flow. Even as you explain your work, remind yourself that everyone loves talking about themselves. By letting them do so, you’ll be less as an intruder and more of interested addition to any discussion.

Perhaps you’re in a group and someone decides to join you? Be quick to expand the circle and compliment their initiative. Get curious and allow your inclusive vibe to create yet another new connection.

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Saying “yes” leads to more adventure, as the universe rewards our ambition.

By Ben McDougal, ago