Generosity

Listen

Listening is louder than it sounds.

Most entrepreneurs like to talk and the more obsessed we are, the more vociferous we seem to get. Idea machines must be willing to share compelling stories, but listening is a key part of any transmission. This may seem obvious, but with precious air time up for grabs and knowing so much about our own interests, listening can devolve into feeling like a required distraction.

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Hearing is passive. Listening is active.

As we guide people through the layers of understanding, active listening forms a bond much faster than forcing yourself to be heard. The fear of not having time to deliver your message will linger, but when we truly tune into what another person is saying, it shows we care. It also helps us better harmonize our thoughts within the moment and counters the common mistake of overloading others with too much numbing details all at once. Knowing each conversation is part of a broader relationship and community-building journey, good listeners are almost always given a chance to make a bigger impact.

Ready for an experiment? The next time you meet someone new, embrace your inner scientist. Set your introverted/extroverted mindset aside and focus your attention on asking as many thoughtful questions as you can. The less you talk, the better. This will feel awkward if you just fire question after question, so be concise with each response, then return to more thoughtful questions for a more natural interaction. Consider expanding this social experiment by purposely doing this throughout an entire networking event. Remember who you talked with and track how the listening-focused conversations evolve. Over time, how do these relationships built on listening, compare to others where you’ve been more outspoken? Here are a few tactics to support your practice.

  • Center your internal attention.
  • Stay engaged with eye contact.
  • Use jarring questions to dodge small talk.
  • Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions.
  • Occasionally paraphrase what was said.
  • Avoid the urge to make it about you.
  • Ask curious questions to go deeper.
  • Exit gracefully, without a sense of rush.

This type of active listening will extend your ability to hear more, but also make your responses more in-tune with what others are thinking, versus always trying to prove your point. Selflessness may keep a conversation from landing exactly where you want in that moment, but as you move from one topic to the next, you’ll learn how others work. When done well, an unspoken bond forms. This synchronization creates space to explore more directions you’d like to take future conversations, but now with the priceless ingredient of shared enthusiasm.

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Listening within a support network ignites optimism, connection, and motivation. A healthy balance is to also listen to your challenge network, which keeps us intellectually humble and rooted in reality.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Perpetual

It’s hard to stop anything that repeats so frequently it seems endless. There’s infinite ways perpetuity could be good or bad, but never ending happiness, trust, love, hard work, fun, generosity, action, wonder, and learning seem like safe bets.

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It’s not whether you know how, it’s whether you will.

Being inspired by so many remarkable people (like you), has instilled a lasting appreciation for consistency within the entrepreneurial lifestyle. Perpetual feels like a cousin to persistence, so without airdropping the final chapter, here’s a short excerpt from the closing moments of You Don’t Need This Book: Entrepreneurship in the Connected Era.

As entrepreneurs traverse through the unknown, setbacks are inevitable. Each conquered setback makes an entrepreneur more resilient. As resiliency bonds with experiential knowledge, focused determination makes setbacks less distracting. Eventually, setbacks become more like interesting challenges for problem-solving entrepreneurs. This hardened mindset welcomes endless suffering. Such willingness to suffer unlocks a key to entrepreneurship. Passion.

Passion fuels persistence, and persistence is a wild card. Passionate persistence combined with obsession, allows anyone to achieve entrepreneurial success.

You’ll build when others don’t. You’ll savor projects longer and you’ll fight through dips that made others quit. You’ll be comfortable with uncomfortable and you’ll enjoy making a ruckus every step of the way.

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Belief in one’s self is contagious.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Serendipitist

Do things always seem to work out for you?

Our internal narratives and external experiences make the cultural consequences of serendipity hard to refute. Serendipity may be pseudoscientific, but it makes sense that things we dedicate our focus and attention to, naturally attracts more of the same.

This mental model can be established in many ways. For me, the appetite for welcoming serendipitous collisions has been brewed from the eternal optimism that an entrepreneurial lifestyle constructs. No matter the source, I believe many of us are, or have the potential to be serendipitists.

Serendipitists seek adventures that invite, sometimes even require different layers of serendipity. The extend at which you control what you’re able to control (a dichotomy within stoicism), while also letting the winds of happenstance guide you through a sense of abundance, determines how often/deeply we experience this charming phenomenon.

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What’s normal for a spider, is chaos for the fly.

In the moment, not everything will work out. This is why serendipitists are often confused with just being lucky. Serendipity and luck both require preparation, openness, and opportunity. The difference between serendipity and luck, is perseverance. Over time, serendipitists share similar energies within their practice.

Serendipitists say “yes” more often.
Serendipitists consistently show up.
Serendipitists assume positive intent.
Serendipitists seek to understand.
Serendipitists are empathetic.
Serendipitists are generous.
Serendipitists stay curious.
Serendipitists fuel positive change.
Serendipitists play long-term games.
Serendipitists have fun and die empty.

As we experience serendipity, celebrate it. Recognize the random awesomeness that comes from the positivity you squeeze into the universe. Continue connecting dots, appreciate how things come together, and keep making a ruckus to feel it even more.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Ship It

We are all artists. No matter what you create, there’s a distinction between creating art and shipping it.

Seth Godin teaches us to go beyond the status quo by creating remarkable art. As leaders cultivate a creative practice, Godin also suggests that if we don’t ship our art (i.e. send it into the world), the effort is self-limited. There’s value to creating more than we consume, but art creates connection. If what you construct is not shipped, there is no connection, and therefore, Seth Godin says it’s not art.

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Does (re)defining art change how you think about your own contributions?

What is your art? Entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, side hustlers, students, and community builders who are willing to ship, fuel positive change with their art.

Unfortunately, the ego fears external evaluation. This fear is compounded when progress feels slow, which is part of the dance. As apprehension calcifies over time, it’s hard to resist the temptation of hiding our thoughts, emotions, and activities within the safety of solitude.

Creating art to enjoy by yourself can build real skills and provide internal layers of sentimental value, but to go beyond the status quo, push past the fear of feedback. No need to waste time shouting just to make noise, but know that we need you to ship the art.

This encouragement is not an excuse to rush into bad ideas, ship something that hasn’t received proper attention, or not deliver on a promise. It is, however, a friendly reminder that pursuing perfection can devolve into an enemy of progress.

We’ve all heard inspiration like that before but listen to those you admire. Perfection is rarely required when all you need is enough success to continue creating art. Let such liberation fuel confidence. Translate expanding confidence into fresh curiosity. Augment this curiosity with creative action. Rinse and be isochronal in your creative practice.

As belief in oneself grows, one interesting hesitation is disguised by good intention. We tell ourselves it’s not wise to be too self-serving. This is virtuous, but sometimes endless humility makes silence feel safe. As we protect ourselves by staying quiet, a self-limiting restraint develops. For example, many find a journal to be therapeutic but are quick to dismiss sharing these beautifully raw writings with others. It’s good to internalize thought, but as you learn more about yourself through writing, even if it’s only for those you love, know your art can only connect when it ships.

Ready to ship your art? Double-click on your superpowers and the people you care about. Pouring a hint of discipline over what you’re best at and who you seek to serve will provide genuine value over time. Experiment with small actions, and as this develops into a practice, expand the connected nature of your creativity. As your art connects with those who care, find a cadence that allows you to be consistent. A daily blog? A weekly podcast? The monthly newsletter? An annual event? One size does not fit all, and the right tempo depends on the art you’re planning to ship. To find a signal, consider your personal bandwidth and the target audience. Talk with others and take action, then tweak timing to find the right rhythm.

If you’re shipping art, I’d love to hear what makes it stand out and how you remain consistent.

Perhaps there is a renewed desire to connect more of your intelligence? As you take action, know that your contributions matter. Even when the immediate impact is undetectable, thank you for being courageous enough to ship it.

By Ben McDougal, ago

Die Empty

Graveyards are full of good intentions, untold ideas, disconnections, and missed opportunities.

As we celebrate year-end holidays and look to 2022, it’s easy to make audacious plans for what’s next, but perhaps it’s wise to pair big ideas with small actions?

This obviously means something different for everyone. For example, there are times in our lives when we seek to do so much more. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when cool ideas, good intentions, and even positive action doesn’t lead to the anticipated outcome. For those who face this mental mountain, first give yourself grace by remembering that we either succeed or learn. This will help you find closure with past failure(s). As you push through this self-limiting mindset, lean back into your community of fellow founders. It’s even harder to show up when you’re experiencing a dip, but movement activates motivation and leaning into the prosperity of others will percolate helpful conversations. Pair this curiosity with a pinch of vulnerability and you’ll be reminded how generosity builds trust and helps you solve new problems.

In contrast, there are other times when a profound sense of accomplishment leaves us wondering what more can be done? This would seemingly be a privileged state, but our sense of purpose can waver when goals have been met. This can cause even the most ambitious spirit to feel lazy. A sense of achievement dysmorphia can also set in, which downplays our accomplishments in an effort to create space for more. Perhaps one way to counter this type of mental moment is to pair celebration with relaxation, creativity, and humility. Rejuvenation often emerges from self-care rooted in gratitude. This form of vulnerability brings peace, which often provides clarity on prolific ways to make a deeper impact on familiar fronts, or energy to explore brand new ways to fuel positive change.

The nudge you need will be dynamic based on the complexity of your ever-shifting environment, but a willingness to persist allows us all to keep building.

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The YDNTB audiobook was just released and listeners love it! It is now available as a direct download (with bonus features) in this special Holiday Bundle. It can also be found on Audible, iTunes, and Amazon.

It’s impossible to measure the amount of time and effort it took to narrate, edit, and professionally publish this 5-hour audiobook (here’s how I did it), but that’s not what matters. What matters is that I have a remarkable relic to be proud of forever. Enjoy the show my friends!

Along with what you’re able to undertake, appreciate all that you cannot. When idea machines have an opportunity surplus, it’s easy to over commit. It’s much harder to stay cognizant of our personal bandwidth when our connected era is always introducing new ways to spend your time. These are crossroads where you’re invited to be honest about your own purpose, by allowing the superpowers of others to activate something you can/should not. As you share the love, deliver ideas, resources, connections, and opportunities without hidden agendas. You can’t take such things with you, so boldly give them away with a sense of abundance and find renewing joy in helping others bring more good things to life.

My hope is that after reading this year-end reflection, you observe the blunt title less around loneliness, and more as positive encouragement for doing all that we can with our precious time in this life.

A sustainable cadence leads to longevity, but a profound legacy awaits those who exhaust all their love, intelligence, connectivity, and energy to leave satisfied in the end.

By Ben McDougal, ago