Waiting Rooms

The waiting room is that season where you’re not where you used to be, but you’re not yet where you want to go. It’s the in-between zone. The pause before your name gets called. The place where you’re preparing for something, whether or not you think you know what’s next.

If we move our egos aside just long enough, we can see the beauty here. The waiting room is where character develops. Where preparation happens. Where we create, reflect, and release what no longer serves us.

But we want to bypass it. We grow impatient and intolerant. We think our will, our force, can push us through faster. It doesn’t work like that. You’ll only exhaust and burn yourself out. It’s easy to watch others get called before you. The mental chatter starts: When will it be my turn? Will I ever be ready? Why them and not me?

The problem with watching others is that you have no idea where they are on their journeys. You don’t know where they’ve been, where they’re being called to next, or what’s waiting for them when they get there. Their timeline is not a reflection of yours. It never was.

Everyone gets called at exactly the right time for their highest good. Not a moment sooner. Not because the universe is withholding opportunity, but because love doesn’t set us up to fail. The waiting room keeps us from walking through a doorway we’re not ready for. It’s protective. We wouldn’t hand a nine-year-old the car keys just because they felt ready to drive. Your higher wisdom knows better. That child stays in the waiting room until they’re equipped for what’s next.

EXTRA SHOT

Watch Vanessa narrate this riff on-stage!

No one wants to be in the waiting room, but everyone must pass through it. These pause points aren’t punishments; they’re where we catch our breath, integrate what we’ve learned, and prepare for what’s coming. To often, we take this wait personally. Like it’s evidence we’re not good enough, not ready enough, not deserving enough. We get frustrated. Resentful. Sometimes we even give up.

But your job is to sit in the tension of not being where you want to be without making it mean something’s wrong with you. When we are able to loosen the grip, the pause can be strategic. You can recalibrate here. Gain mastery here. Rest here. The waiting room is the bulb that leads to the flower, fertilized by your patience and who you choose to become while you wait.

EXTRA SHOT

This contribution was written by Vanessa McNeal. Vanessa is a social architect and keynote speaker who helps us transform the nervous system to lead through love.

Life is full of waiting rooms. When the time comes, we move forward and eventually we find ourselves in another waiting room. We create suffering if we believe we’ll arrive one day at a place with no more growth, no more waiting.

That’s not how it works. What would we learn by skipping the journey to reach the destination? How would we develop patience, self-trust, or resilience?

Right now is transitory, but micro-moments add up and coalesce into the story of our comprehensive progress. Waiting rooms are where we become the person who’s ready and open to what comes next.

Brewed From Within
#97 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Endowment

Leaving a legacy seems to motivate those who change the world. This leads to prolific focus and lasting ambition, but the psychological undertones are real.

Subconsciously needing to be loved, trying to counter death anxiety, and equating our legacy to symbolic immortality can slip toward self-centered intentions. A decorated life is legendary to the person living it, but a dilated ego becomes burdensome. This mental weight holds us back from living in the moment. It belittles simple pleasures. It fuels a fear of failure and disguises invigorating initiative by equating movement to risk. When the idea of leaving a legacy starts to echo a desire to be famous, impossible expectations harbor misery and unavoidable disappointment.

The entrepreneurial lifestyle is guided by leaders who create more than we consume, but there is freedom for those who are not engrossed with the hope of being remembered.

This may feel like an assault on the impacts we make or a wicked invitation to be complacent, but it’s neither. It’s forgiveness and a liberating release to keep building.

Brewed From Within
#124 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Perpetuity

There are infinite ways in which perpetuity could be good or bad, but proficient happiness, trust, love, hard work, fun, generosity, learning, wonder, and action seem like safe bets.

As we traverse the entrepreneurial lifestyle, setbacks are inevitable, but each conquered setback makes us more resilient. As resiliency bonds with wisdom, focused determination makes setbacks less distracting. Eventually, setbacks become more like interesting obstacles for trained problem-solvers. This seasoned mindset welcomes suffering and unlocks the wild cards of consistency and persistence.

Passion is overused as a motivating factor, and enthusiastic storytelling is easier for extroverts to fake. The key to lasting success is more like an energizing obsession that makes us build when others don’t. We savor the quests we were called to pursue and push through the dips that make others quit. We don’t need a map and find comfort in the unknowns, as we all continue making a ruckus every step of the way. Ω

Brewed From Within
#125 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Plateaus of Purpose

The highs and lows of an entrepreneurial lifestyle are dramatic, but the plateaus can be just as wild. Find your own feng shui as Vanessa Mcneal guides us on a lovely ride through the internal parts that make you move. This episode reshapes our appreciation toward the inevitable plateaus of life.

Mid-way through, you’ll hear a fresh addition to how our coffee breaks will add value throughout Season 2. Ben narrates a writing from Roasted Reflections.

After the break, we dive into the vindication that is keynote speaking! Vanessa and Ben have spoken to so many different types of audiences, so listen to how they share tips on giving an engaging talk, building trust to connect with an audience, slide deck design, collaborating withing different budgets, and appreciating times of slowness that offer a waiting room to prepare you for next. We open with an unplanned appreciation toward love and trusting our powers. We close by contrasting the acceleration that comes with coaching, versus the processing that can come from therapy.

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YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com
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Roasted Reflections
BenMcDougal.com

By Ben McDougal, ago

Totality

I sit atop this hill, soaking in the darkness of a lunar eclipse, reflecting as I celebrate 40 trips around the Sun. As our pale blue dot moves between the moon and our closest star, I first notice the moving shadow’s blurry edge. As I think about the time we spend on Earth, so much is devoted to finding our place in the universe. Even when we feel alignment, the blur of distractions will remain constant.

Anticipation takes over as the final sliver of moonlight goes dark. The orange haze of this blood moon is now the only cloud in the sky. The twinkling stars seem to serenade the silence of this moment. As the darkness holds time still, an eerie peacefulness is accompanied by welcomed loneliness. My thoughts sync into the shadow of this cosmic darkness. It becomes useless to resist the overwhelming appreciation I have for so many people who have given my life meaning.

Extra Shot

Jodie and Kate, you are the light of my life and my own totality. My greatest achievement is us. We make each other better, have fun, and experience the meanings in life. One of my favorite things will remain writing life’s stories together, but when I do turn my final page, know that you’re both forever loved, I’ll be with you always, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Within the darkness of totality, I’m soon struck by the discomfort I feel, not knowing when the moonlight may return. We’ve all heard how dark it is before the dawn, yet it still feels natural to consider things that have not gone to plan. Accepting past failures, broken relationships, and future challenges was not an expected emotion, but perspective determines how we respond. I’m thankful that it’s hard to think of anyone who may need to hear this, but if I’ve ever wronged you in any way, I want to say that I am sorry and wish only the best for you.

Extra Shot
Perhaps the transitory quest for totality is an impossible pursuit, but one that provides meaning and makes life fun.

As the first sliver of moonlight returns, eminent joy and assuring enthusiasm seem to rush over me. It’s as if the light of our moon has never been brighter. The subsiding shadow of our planet slowly releases the cherished moonlight back into the night sky, which lights renewed optimism. As the moon shines brighter than ever, so does my appreciation for all that we share. Now and forever, thank you.

Brewed From Within
#107 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago