Fear

Anxiety

The mind is divine. It gives us superpowers, and the dots we electrochemically connect make us human. Such capacity allows us to achieve extraordinary things. At the same time, this mysterious grey matter can also hold us back and even cause havoc.

Anxiety is assuming failure in advance. As a mental cousin to fear, anticipation, worrying, and perhaps even desire, anxiety is like an unspoken agreement you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.This exhausting emotion is all in your head, yet the way anxiety affects your body is absolutely real.

For those who pursue greatness, the more we try to achieve, the tighter we wind the strings of life. When harnessed, this fuels strength, creativity, grit, and persistence. As the tension tightens, however, something is bound to break. Healthy habits and being mindful of your personal bandwidth reduces the frequency and severity of such breakdowns, but with the relentless pressure from never-ending progress, it seems impossible to completely avoid disquiet.

The most common way we attempt to manage such angst is to stop the pain by seeking reassurance. The nourishment of overthinking every scenario in an unknown future may satisfy the moment, but scratching this itch usually makes things worse. Even if we answer every possible question, the willingness to indulge the worry sets a precedent that keeps you coming back to what can become an endless loop.

An alternate approach is to acknowledge the suffering. Don’t run from it. Appreciate the relentless internal narrative you’re dealing with. Breathe. Be thankful for having something you care this much about. Find peace in knowing you’ve done your best to tip odds in your favor, but invite doubt and welcome an opportunity to be wrong. The anxiety is here and it’s dramatic, but it’s also normal. Let thoughts float by, focus your attention on what’s good, and allow time to heal the pain. Yes, this is like letting a forest fire burn without soothing it with water. It will get wild at first, but it eventually burns itself out. The scorched land is then ripe for renewal and less likely to burn again.

Extra Shot

Accepting that anxiety is inevitable

may be a secret to finding equanimity.

By acknowledging anxiety, clarifying awareness helps us understand, even appreciate, the energy. This breaks the cycle and reduces the frequency of such misery. Courage over fear also adds an eagerness to lean on support systems, confirms confidence in how the pain will pass, and allows the mind to stay centered with less climactic swings.

Brewed From Within
#96 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Speak Up

Erik Dominguez equips leaders to confidently communicate. He transforms fears into fuel and speaks nationwide. Whether you’re interested in paid public speaking or working to unite a team, EP74 will inspire you to pause, listen, then come off mute.

After your friendly host narrates Anticipation within another classic break without commercials, Ben and Erik share a handful of specific terms to avoid, assets to extend your reach, and how to cut things to create space for storytelling to land. If your message matters, this is yet another timeless relic to savor.

LISTEN on APPLE PODCASTS
LISTEN on SPOTIFY

BONUS MATERIALS

https://ErikDominguez.com

https://ErikDominguez.com/youtube-2

http://Speak-Up.YouDontNeedThisPodcast.com

Roasted Reflections Break: Anticipation

Waukee APEX

http://BENBOT.ai

By Ben McDougal, ago

Winds of Outrage

Outrage is a waste of time.

Anger is instinctive, and there’s purpose in standing up for what we believe, but little is accomplished when the two are combined. Lashing out rarely makes us feel better, so why is abusive fury so common?

The winds of outrage get stronger as isolation increases. We live in a connected, but lonely time. Anything is a click away but a thoughtful conversation is increasingly rare. As we age, we spend more time alone, which further reduces diversity of thought. This social isolation causes the overproduction of neural chemicals in the brain, which increases fear and aggression. The mental instability swings us away from center. Instead of curiosity, empathy, and patience, a hardened state feels like the only way to be heard.

Extra Shot

Why must humans unite against things we don’t like so much faster and louder than rallying around those we do?

Without an intrinsic appreciation for the complexity of constant change, simplification is natural. This polarizes any position. When the answer must be yes or no, there’s no room for maybe. If one’s identity is defined by unconscious polarization, it is innate to assume that a threat must be met with force.

When leaders get loud in an aggressive way, does it strengthen their position? No. It looks desperate and detracts from the debate. The increased volume may attract attention, but more of the same only deepens close mindedness. When truth becomes personalized, it shortens the fuse that ignites outrage. How then can we calm, even harness the winds of outrage?

Imagine the serenity of a sailboat. Next time it gets windy with outrage, let your mainsail catch the gusts to move forward. Stay connected to the centering mast by leaning into your understanding, but invite pure wonder by allowing the jib to wave in appreciation for the intensity that comes with outrage. It can feel like strengthening the storm, but a thoughtful question can reduce tension. Our goodwill of active listening creates space for outrageous energy to dissolve. Even when there is little to agree on, as people feel heard they are more willing to listen, and when storms blow over, common ground can be found.

Brewed From Within
#44 📖 Leadership

By Ben McDougal, ago

Decisions

When questions linger, they get heavier. Paralysis can even set in, especially when a decision feels important.

Ambition fades and holding desire invites unhappiness until a future state is achieved. Thinking through the idea maze, strategic planning, and talking tactics is wise, but mental jams are usually not from a lack of choices, but instead, too many. Thoroughly consider the options, then maintain momentum by simply making each decision.

Extra Shot

The best decision is the one you make.

This is not as easy as it sounds. Big or small, a fear of making the wrong decision is ever present. Fortunately, while life or death decisions do occur, most of the time, a wrong decision only requires resources to make it right. Poor decision-making adds up, but if it’s just one decision that’s part of a longer sequence, even slight missteps can move us closer to where we want to be.

Brewed From Within
#50 📖 Leadership

By Ben McDougal, ago

Training Wheels

When training wheels come off a child’s bike, it’s a breakthrough moment.

Learning to ride a bicycle was not as easy as it looked. The early excitement of that new bike was bolstered by the comfort of training wheels. These little stabilizers provided balance, but eventually became self-limiting. Whether you remember learning to ride a bike or have helped a little one figure it out, the urge to remove such limitation forms fast.

Removing training wheels only takes a minute, but then fear sets in. The challenge of staying upright, maintaining speed, avoiding obstacles, and falling without getting hurt feels overwhelming. Even with the support of others, success seems out of reach, until it clicks. Like magic, trepidation transforms into gliding independence.

Moving beyond the comfort zone that training wheels provide children, reminders us how wonderful it feels to overcome hardships. Considering how easy it can be to leave training wheels on too long, also awakens thoughts of how contentment can lead to complacency.

Being content without becoming complacent is a constant test. One moment you’re grateful for all that is, then soon you’re wondering why you feel oddly stuck. Perhaps this is because the more complacent we become, the more rigid we get. This rigidity often devolves into a stronger fear of change. When the movement that comes with change becomes associated with risk, it’s common to feel stuck, stagnant, or even irrelevant.

If training wheels are holding you back, initiative can set you free and persistence will keep you moving. When movement is gratifying, even when it’s hard, you’re set free to keep shifting gears as you ride toward what’s next.

Extra Shot
It was energizing to see so many friends at #TSDemoDay! This was a community celebration and milestone moment for entrepreneurs pushing beyond their own comfort zones, as this 2022 class emerged from the Techstars experience.

By Ben McDougal, ago