Parenting

Sharing

The essence of sharing is kindness. This type of kindness forms bonds and endless interactions.

Humanity’s interest in sharing has led to a connected society that invites everyone to do more with less. The idea of such generosity seems simple, yet, the focus on our own well-being leads to egocentric sharing that is more selfish in nature. Children fighting over a toy and adults showing off may seem unrelated, but the histrionic call for attention remains the same. How, then, can we lead without being selfish?

Perhaps harmony lies on a continuum of intent. If we leverage what we have by sharing without a need for recognition, attention is earned without hidden agendas. Although this form of selflessness is not philanthropy, there is less concern for how it is rewarded. When sharing returns to an altruistic act, generosity builds trust, engaged networks flourish, and kindness melds to accelerate those who need it.

Brewed From Within
#123 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Training Wheels

As a child, riding a bike was not as easy as it looked. Fortunately, early excitement was bolstered by the comfort of training wheels. These stabilizers provided balance but eventually became self-limiting. Removing training wheels took only a minute, but then fear set in. Staying upright, maintaining speed, avoiding obstacles, and falling without getting hurt felt overwhelming. Even with support from others, success seemed out of reach, until it clicked. Like magic, trepidation transformed into gliding independence.

Training wheels remind us that contentment can lead to complacency. Being content without complacency is a constant battle. One day you’re grateful for all that is, the next you’re feeling oddly stuck. Perhaps this is because the more complacent we become, the more rigid we get. This rigidity then devolves into a stronger fear of change. When the movement of change becomes associated with risk, it’s common to feel stuck, stagnant, or even irrelevant. When training wheels are holding you back, initiative sets you free and persistence keeps us moving. As movement separates from risk, we’re free to shift gears and ride toward next.

Brewed From Within
#100 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Bloop

Small choices don’t make a difference, until they do.

Imagine yourself a circle that has expanded from a lifetime of personal growth. Now, spin out another tiny bloop beyond the existing circumference. This gives yourself room to expand.

Extra Shot
If you break one rule, avoid breaking another.

Even when small choices seem insignificant, the willingness to bloop stretches our neuroplasticity, widens our perspective, extends our reach, improves our health, and broadens our potential. As this becomes a habit within the systems of our own continuous improvement, all the circles of life expand and overlap to layer confidence into experiential wisdom.

Brewed From Within
#101 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Winding Whys

Asking “why” seems to be innate.

As soon as kids learn to speak, the inquisitions begin. The first few whys may emerge from innocent curiosity, but it’s easy to tell when the game is underway.

Endless whys may lead to frustration (especially when it’s bedtime, eh), but why not find joy in making these winding whys into a fun challenge. Instead of shutting things down, try to quickly answer every why. Can we mindfully outlast a youngster’s attention span?

Extra Shot
“Mom… Dad… why do you love me?”
After countless rounds of winding whys, what a fun chance to coalesce endless reasons into one run-on sentence.

As we zoom out, it feels trite to reflect on how humans have so many whys we cannot answer. Instead of the paradoxical path or trying to understand all of our own whys, the five whys from Toyota is an interesting tactic.

Developed by system thinkers inside Toyota back in the 1980s, this iterative technique was used to explore the cause-and-effect relationships underlying a particular problem. When following 14 specific rules after exactly five whys, the last answer often points to a process that is not working well or does not exist. This technique has critics and can lead to rigid, even shortsighted interpretations. That may be the case, but more often than not, our own willingness to go deeper helps move past easy answers.

The five whys may not solve all our winding whys, but the idea behind this historic tactic can be fun to use at home. We also know playing with why is helpful for decision making and culture building in business.

As winding whys carve through your mind, appreciate the difference between complex, complicated, and simple ideas. Socratic questioning, active listening, real-time doodles, media-supported storytelling, inverse charisma, laughing, and of course, child-like wanderlust all add a twist. Why not?

Brewed From Within
#119 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Santa is Real

Humans tell stories.

Storytelling is the way we communicate and a key to humanity’s evolution. The stories we share come in all genres, but each one builds a different type of connection.

Stories often exist for a moment, but some are passed for generations. The most successful stories humans have told may be those about science, mathematics, religion, or money, but holidays may also land on this list of extraordinary, generational storytelling.

In the United States, 11 federal holidays are all observed in their own way, but Christmas (and comparable year-end celebrations around the world) creates a special atmosphere. In fact, the entire calendar and our fundamental sense of time seem to revolve around this cozy time of year.  

Christmas is when we pause to remember the year that was and look forward to what’s next. With such a shared inflection point, the year-end holiday season has created many recognizable symbols. Many traditions revolve around religion and just as many do not, but the legend of Santa seems synonymous with the holiday spirit.

Whether you believe in Santa or not, it’s hard to argue with how well this jolly character embodies the essence of treasured time, cute mystic, generosity, and joy.

Think of the generational stories, decorations, letters to Santa, gifts, music, events, movies, more gifts, and all that is integral to the holiday season. Such a story told within culture can spark an undeniable, personal truth.

Extra Shot
Watching little ones lean into the holiday spirit makes us grateful and fills us with pure wonder. Children may be our favorite stories of all, so have fun telling them!

Great stories bring us together. If the result is anything close to the beautiful innocence of a child’s sparkle around the holiday seasons, I’m a believer and thankful that Santa is real.

Brewed From Within
#103 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago