Openness

Waiting Rooms

The waiting room is that season where you’re not where you used to be, but you’re not yet where you want to go. It’s the in-between zone. The pause before your name gets called. The place where you’re preparing for something, whether or not you think you know what’s next.

If we move our egos aside just long enough, we can see the beauty here. The waiting room is where character develops. Where preparation happens. Where we create, reflect, and release what no longer serves us.

But we want to bypass it. We grow impatient and intolerant. We think our will, our force, can push us through faster. It doesn’t work like that. You’ll only exhaust and burn yourself out. It’s easy to watch others get called before you. The mental chatter starts: When will it be my turn? Will I ever be ready? Why them and not me?

The problem with watching others is that you have no idea where they are on their journeys. You don’t know where they’ve been, where they’re being called to next, or what’s waiting for them when they get there. Their timeline is not a reflection of yours. It never was.

Everyone gets called at exactly the right time for their highest good. Not a moment sooner. Not because the universe is withholding opportunity, but because love doesn’t set us up to fail. The waiting room keeps us from walking through a doorway we’re not ready for. It’s protective. We wouldn’t hand a nine-year-old the car keys just because they felt ready to drive. Your higher wisdom knows better. That child stays in the waiting room until they’re equipped for what’s next.

EXTRA SHOT

Watch Vanessa narrate this riff on-stage!

No one wants to be in the waiting room, but everyone must pass through it. These pause points aren’t punishments; they’re where we catch our breath, integrate what we’ve learned, and prepare for what’s coming. To often, we take this wait personally. Like it’s evidence we’re not good enough, not ready enough, not deserving enough. We get frustrated. Resentful. Sometimes we even give up.

But your job is to sit in the tension of not being where you want to be without making it mean something’s wrong with you. When we are able to loosen the grip, the pause can be strategic. You can recalibrate here. Gain mastery here. Rest here. The waiting room is the bulb that leads to the flower, fertilized by your patience and who you choose to become while you wait.

EXTRA SHOT

This contribution was written by Vanessa McNeal. Vanessa is a social architect and keynote speaker who helps us transform the nervous system to lead through love.

Life is full of waiting rooms. When the time comes, we move forward and eventually we find ourselves in another waiting room. We create suffering if we believe we’ll arrive one day at a place with no more growth, no more waiting.

That’s not how it works. What would we learn by skipping the journey to reach the destination? How would we develop patience, self-trust, or resilience?

Right now is transitory, but micro-moments add up and coalesce into the story of our comprehensive progress. Waiting rooms are where we become the person who’s ready and open to what comes next.

Brewed From Within
#97 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Training Wheels

As a child, riding a bike was not as easy as it looked. Fortunately, early excitement was bolstered by the comfort of training wheels. These stabilizers provided balance but eventually became self-limiting. Removing training wheels took only a minute, but then fear set in. Staying upright, maintaining speed, avoiding obstacles, and falling without getting hurt felt overwhelming. Even with support from others, success seemed out of reach, until it clicked. Like magic, trepidation transformed into gliding independence.

Training wheels remind us that contentment can lead to complacency. Being content without complacency is a constant battle. One day you’re grateful for all that is, the next you’re feeling oddly stuck. Perhaps this is because the more complacent we become, the more rigid we get. This rigidity then devolves into a stronger fear of change. When the movement of change becomes associated with risk, it’s common to feel stuck, stagnant, or even irrelevant. When training wheels are holding you back, initiative sets you free and persistence keeps us moving. As movement separates from risk, we’re free to shift gears and ride toward next.

Brewed From Within
#100 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Hole-In-One

I hadn’t touched a golf club in eight years, until Ben invited me to 9 holes to celebrate his 40th birthday.

LESSON #1: yes = adventure

After being away from a game I once loved, the first round back was intimidating, but why not? I picked up some golf gear and hit a driving range.

LESSON #2: now > later

When the day came, I arrived to find my friend sipping a Miami Vice with his good buddy and business partner. This set the scene. Whether it was strolling around the clubhouse or our carefree laughter along the way, it was clear we were here to have a good time.

LESSON #3: fun > serious

Even with a relaxing vibe, my nerves got the best of me the first 5 holes. My shots were timid, and the wind wasn’t helping. Despite the double bogeys, I was having fun and it felt good being back on the golf course.

LESSON #4: humility + patience + fun = growth

Halfway through, a groove was returning. On Hole 15, Ben caught a birdie and I hit my first par. We then rolled up to Hole 16 at Glen Oaks Country Club, a 168-yard par 3. Feeling relaxed, I grabbed my 7-iron and hit a clean tee shot. It felt great and looked even better. The ball dropped on that freshly aerated green, just short and left of the pin. It took two small hops, then silently rolled into the cup. A freakin’ hole-in-one!

LESSON #5: growth + openness = opportunity

We started dancing in disbelief. Neither of us knew what to do. I threw on my giant fake gold chain and giggled while Ben captured the moment. The rest of our day was a blur, and we’ve continued to celebrate ever since. Without this yes to adventure, I never would have gotten my first hole-in-one or shared this epic experience on my fun friend’s 40th birthday.

LESSON #6: growth + opportunity = celebrate

Extra Shot
This contribution is from Derek Brooks, a Midwestern American software engineer who enjoys thinking, building, fixing, traveling, camping, rocking, and once again, golfing.

As I appreciate these life lessons through the lens of my career as a technologist, I’m reminded that getting in over my head has been the fastest way to grow and move forward. When we push outside comfort zones and always celebrate in style, we have fewer regerts.

Brewed From Within
#111 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Serendipitist

Do things always seem to work out for you?

Internal narratives and external experiences make the cultural consequences of serendipity hard to refute. Serendipity may be pseudoscientific, but things we dedicate attention to will attract more of the same.

The appetite for welcoming serendipitous collisions is often enhanced by the optimism that an entrepreneurial lifestyle constructs. No matter the source or how often stars align, many of us are or have the potential to be a serendipitist.

Serendipitists seek adventures that invite, sometimes even require, different layers of serendipity. The extent to which you control what you’re able to control (a dichotomy within stoicism) while also letting the winds of happenstance guide you through a sense of abundance determines how often we experience this charming phenomenon.

Extra Shot
What’s normal for a spider is chaos for the fly.

Leaders who manifest serendipity are often called lucky. Both require proficient preparation, openness, and timeliness, but serendipity is deeper. It calls for earned trust and perseverance. Serendipitists realize good fortune is not an accident and they share this mantra in their creative practice.

Serendipitists show up.
Serendipitists say yes more often.
Serendipitists assume positive intent.
Serendipitists seek to understand.
Serendipitists are empathetic.
Serendipitists stay curious.
Serendipitists are generous.
Serendipitists kill with kindness.
Serendipitists fuel positive change.
Serendipitists have fun and die empty.
Serendipitists play long-term games.
Serendipitists are consistent.

When you sense serendipity, recognize the blessings that come from this positivity we squeeze into the universe. As we keep serendipity brewing, we make new dots to connect and can invite others to turn up their own serendipity even more.

Brewed From Within
#112 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Open to Next

Honest resolutions provide direction. Appreciating the past, setting goals, and planning for the future guides enthusiasm and sustained action. Along with measured milestones, dare to be different by staying open to things not in the plan. This fluidity helps us avoid the limiting effect of being too rigid.

Think about your last vacation. You locked in travel, accommodations, and an assortment of prepared activities. You basically scripted the adventure. If all goes to plan, you’ll enjoy the trip, but how often does everything go exactly to plan? Almost never, yet the unexpected detours often lead to the best memories.

Extra Shot
Higher the contrast, better the story.

There are times to be stringent, and discipline is useful, but embracing the plot twists of life ensures that perseverance doesn’t become misguided. This is ambitious when control is comforting, but let good habits provide the comfort, with openness to churn goals into surpassing accomplishments.

Brewed From Within
#90 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago