Life & Happiness

Hole-In-One

I hadn’t touched a golf club in eight years, until Ben invited me to 9 holes to celebrate his 40th birthday.

LESSON #1: yes = adventure

After being away from a game I once loved, the first round back was intimidating, but why not? I picked up some golf gear and hit a driving range.

LESSON #2: now > later

When the day came, I arrived to find my friend sipping a Miami Vice with his good buddy and business partner. This set the scene. Whether it was strolling around the clubhouse or our carefree laughter along the way, it was clear we were here to have a good time.

LESSON #3: fun > serious

Even with a relaxing vibe, my nerves got the best of me the first 5 holes. My shots were timid, and the wind wasn’t helping. Despite the double bogeys, I was having fun and it felt good being back on the golf course.

LESSON #4: humility + patience + fun = growth

Halfway through, a groove was returning. On Hole 15, Ben caught a birdie and I hit my first par. We then rolled up to Hole 16 at Glen Oaks Country Club, a 168-yard par 3. Feeling relaxed, I grabbed my 7-iron and hit a clean tee shot. It felt great and looked even better. The ball dropped on that freshly aerated green, just short and left of the pin. It took two small hops, then silently rolled into the cup. A freakin’ hole-in-one!

LESSON #5: growth + openness = opportunity

We started dancing in disbelief. Neither of us knew what to do. I threw on my giant fake gold chain and giggled while Ben captured the moment. The rest of our day was a blur, and we’ve continued to celebrate ever since. Without this yes to adventure, I never would have gotten my first hole-in-one or shared this epic experience on my fun friend’s 40th birthday.

LESSON #6: growth + opportunity = celebrate

Extra Shot
This contribution is from Derek Brooks, a Midwestern American software engineer who enjoys thinking, building, fixing, traveling, camping, rocking, and once again, golfing.

As I appreciate these life lessons through the lens of my career as a technologist, I’m reminded that getting in over my head has been the fastest way to grow and move forward. When we push outside comfort zones and always celebrate in style, we have fewer regerts.

Brewed From Within
#111 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Totality

I sit atop this hill, soaking in the darkness of a lunar eclipse, reflecting as I celebrate 40 trips around the Sun. As our pale blue dot moves between the moon and our closest star, I first notice the moving shadow’s blurry edge. As I think about the time we spend on Earth, so much is devoted to finding our place in the universe. Even when we feel alignment, the blur of distractions will remain constant.

Anticipation takes over as the final sliver of moonlight goes dark. The orange haze of this blood moon is now the only cloud in the sky. The twinkling stars seem to serenade the silence of this moment. As the darkness holds time still, an eerie peacefulness is accompanied by welcomed loneliness. My thoughts sync into the shadow of this cosmic darkness. It becomes useless to resist the overwhelming appreciation I have for so many people who have given my life meaning.

Extra Shot

Jodie and Kate, you are the light of my life and my own totality. My greatest achievement is us. We make each other better, have fun, and experience the meanings in life. One of my favorite things will remain writing life’s stories together, but when I do turn my final page, know that you’re both forever loved, I’ll be with you always, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Within the darkness of totality, I’m soon struck by the discomfort I feel, not knowing when the moonlight may return. We’ve all heard how dark it is before the dawn, yet it still feels natural to consider things that have not gone to plan. Accepting past failures, broken relationships, and future challenges was not an expected emotion, but perspective determines how we respond. I’m thankful that it’s hard to think of anyone who may need to hear this, but if I’ve ever wronged you in any way, I want to say that I am sorry and wish only the best for you.

Extra Shot
Perhaps the transitory quest for totality is an impossible pursuit, but one that provides meaning and makes life fun.

As the first sliver of moonlight returns, eminent joy and assuring enthusiasm seem to rush over me. It’s as if the light of our moon has never been brighter. The subsiding shadow of our planet slowly releases the cherished moonlight back into the night sky, which lights renewed optimism. As the moon shines brighter than ever, so does my appreciation for all that we share. Now and forever, thank you.

Brewed From Within
#107 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Dark Matter

Invisible forces look like nothing, and anything that is so inconspicuous will receive less attention, yet the unseen fills our universe and impacts everything.

The gravitational effects of dark matter can also be a brainy comparison for misguiding mindsets or bad experiences that have altered our own trajectory. Traps await us at every turn, but poor habits, surprising disappointments, unhealthy relationships, and mysterious feelings are not uncommon.

No matter how your own dark matter manifests itself, the gravity it wields will direct the light in your life.

When energy levels have been low for too long, identify the dark matter that may be pulling you in the wrong direction. Even the slightest reduction on a negative charge opens a void that welcomes positive growth.

Brewed From Within
#109 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Serendipitist

Do things always seem to work out for you?

Internal narratives and external experiences make the cultural consequences of serendipity hard to refute. Serendipity may be pseudoscientific, but things we dedicate attention to will attract more of the same.

The appetite for welcoming serendipitous collisions is often enhanced by the optimism that an entrepreneurial lifestyle constructs. No matter the source or how often stars align, many of us are or have the potential to be a serendipitist.

Serendipitists seek adventures that invite, sometimes even require, different layers of serendipity. The extent to which you control what you’re able to control (a dichotomy within stoicism) while also letting the winds of happenstance guide you through a sense of abundance determines how often we experience this charming phenomenon.

Extra Shot
What’s normal for a spider is chaos for the fly.

Leaders who manifest serendipity are often called lucky. Both require proficient preparation, openness, and timeliness, but serendipity is deeper. It calls for earned trust and perseverance. Serendipitists realize good fortune is not an accident and they share this mantra in their creative practice.

Serendipitists show up.
Serendipitists say yes more often.
Serendipitists assume positive intent.
Serendipitists seek to understand.
Serendipitists are empathetic.
Serendipitists stay curious.
Serendipitists are generous.
Serendipitists kill with kindness.
Serendipitists fuel positive change.
Serendipitists have fun and die empty.
Serendipitists play long-term games.
Serendipitists are consistent.

When you sense serendipity, recognize the blessings that come from this positivity we squeeze into the universe. As we keep serendipity brewing, we make new dots to connect and can invite others to turn up their own serendipity even more.

Brewed From Within
#112 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago

Open to Next

Honest resolutions provide direction. Appreciating the past, setting goals, and planning for the future guides enthusiasm and sustained action. Along with measured milestones, dare to be different by staying open to things not in the plan. This fluidity helps us avoid the limiting effect of being too rigid.

Think about your last vacation. You locked in travel, accommodations, and an assortment of prepared activities. You basically scripted the adventure. If all goes to plan, you’ll enjoy the trip, but how often does everything go exactly to plan? Almost never, yet the unexpected detours often lead to the best memories.

Extra Shot
Higher the contrast, better the story.

There are times to be stringent, and discipline is useful, but embracing the plot twists of life ensures that perseverance doesn’t become misguided. This is ambitious when control is comforting, but let good habits provide the comfort, with openness to churn goals into surpassing accomplishments.

Brewed From Within
#90 📖 Life & Happiness

By Ben McDougal, ago